A friend of mine lost her Mother about two years ago and was recently telling me how difficult it still is for her to deal with her loss and what an empty spot it left in her heart. Besides being a precious friend she is a loving wife, devoted Mother to her own young teen daughter, an accomplished medical doctor and quite active in her child’s school as well as community affairs. Yet she lamented, “So that’s all there is to life, you are born, you grow up, raise your own family and like Mother, you die.”
I could feel her pain and emptiness; they are no stranger to most of us at some point in our lives. Many of my readers, students and clients have already lost parents, are in the process of loosing them one by one or will be in this position over the next number of years. Losing loved ones, especially parents often serves to put one’s life into perspective and can be a positive life altering event.
The “rights of passage” of moving from being an adult child to being the care giver for a parent and then becoming the senior adult head of the family can be an overwhelming and unanticipated burden. It can significantly zap emotions, physical well-being and your energy if you do not mentally plan for such major energy shifts in your life, plus do not have a good perspective on your value as a human being.
An Ounce of Prevention
No matter what your age, the time to begin is now. Positive Feng Shui energy is created by planning ahead so you have no regrets when the end is near. Now is when you say all those good kind and loving things to parents and loved ones so that one day in the future you will not find yourself wishing you would have done so before they were gone. Tell them how much you appreciate them not just for what they’ve done for you but for the type of person they are. Even if they are not an exemplary parent or spouse, there are little things you can find to thank them for. Make a list and tell them with each visit or phone call, or write a letter. It doesn’t matter how you do it, just do it.
If you’ve already lost your loved one, write a letter filled with loving memories and all the “thank you things” you can think of. Add to it over the days if necessary. Sign the letter, put it into an envelope and tuck it into a small memories box or photo album with pictures of your loved one. You will find that just the act of writing the letter will release you from perhaps years of guilt. Whether you do it in advance or after the fact, the result is the same for you. You will no longer carry around guilt and will no longer have the “I wish I would have said…” regrets.
Is that all there is?
At this stage in life, many people struggle with the “is that all there is” question. This is truly a question each and every person needs to find the answer to because how you answer this question will determine how you will spend the remaining years of your life. In fact, the earlier in your life you find the answer to this question the more peace filled your life will be. Try using the following two universal energy principles to seek your answer to the question “is that all there is.”
Maintain a GRATITUDE ATTITUDE to get you through or prepare you for the hard days of your immediate loss. Find anything you can to be grateful for even if you need to think of simple things like; it isn’t raining or it finally is raining, or the refrigerator is full of food because you just went shopping or even the peaceful beauty of the new fallen snow depending on where you live and what time of year it is.
You can even begin a gratitude journal to help you record all of the wonderful memories together with the person you just lost, adding to it as often as you think of something new. Be sure however to bring your gratitude journal into the present so you recognize the value of today. Every day is filled with hundreds of positive things. Be aware of your good fortune every hour of the day and record it. You will learn to experience and appreciate every precious moment. Remember, you exchange a day of your life for what you do today.
TREAT LIFE AS A PRECIOUS GIFT. For most people, only once you have lost a loved one or gone through great trauma do you appreciate the gift of life and the value of a day. Times like these provide you an open door to self discovery. Only through self discovery will you be able to find your answer to “is that all there is.” Get in touch with your creative side so your left brain logical self will not stand in your way; paint, write, sculpt, sketch, day dream sitting on the beach or lakeside or, light a candle in a quiet corner of your home and just stare into the beautiful flame. Treat your life as the precious gift it is and allow self discovery to bloom.
The value of a day is exactly the price you pay for it. What you do today you do in exchange for another day of your life. Maintain your gratitude attitude for all the good in each day and go on a self discovery journey that will lead you toward peace and joy within.
© Pat Heydlauff, all rights reserved 2007
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Pat Heydlauff, Feng Shui expert is a consultant, public speaker, columnist and spiritual artist. She has been consulting with families and businesses since the early 1990’s with clients ranging from California and the Midwest to Florida. For Feng Shui consultations in the home and workplace or for self, speaking engagements and in-depth organizational seminars, call Pat now at 561 799-3443 or visit: www.Energy-by-Design.com